disowns:

when you see a big spider on your desk 

image

(Source: disowns)

ernbarassing:

if im on tumblr more than usual that means i have a lot of stuff i need to be doing and im trying to avoid doing it

(Source: ernbarassing)

guy:

*seductively rubs laptop screen to get rid of speck of dirt*

(Source: guy)

I am so sorry to all the people I hurt while I was hurting.

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

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